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Finding Time at Christmas Time

And the award for most creative use of a Santa costume goes to...

And the award for most creative use of a Santa costume goes to…

I can’t believe my last post was over two months ago… yet, thinking back on the last two months and ALL that has transpired in our busy lives, it doesn’t come as a big surprise, really.

Time is my greatest adversary. We fight constantly. Every day. I never claimed to be an excellent manager of time. In fact, I can’t recall who said it, but I once heard someone say (and I readily agreed) that one can’t actually manage time. One can, however, manage oneself  Either way, at the end of the day, my to-be-done list still looms large in my brain and keeps me from getting a good start on that thing called sleep. Which, in the time BC (Before Children) was never an issue. Now, though, I often lay there ticking off the things I need to add to the next day’s ever-growing list because I failed to complete them today (or yesterday, or the day before, as the case may be).

Oh well.

I envy people who are singularly focused. You know the types? The people who can focus on one thing and one thing only, with such laser-like focus that the thing gets done beautifully, gracefully and with oodles of style. These people make it look easy. Why? Because they can focus on the one thing.Easy, right? They aren’t trying to do all sorts of things all at once. They don’t have a myriad of interests and find themselves overwhelmed by all of their extracurricular hobbies. I am not singularly focused. I can’t even imagine having one passion. Therefore, I must accept overwhelm as a way of life. Or try to combat it.

Combat it. Hmmmmmm.

Did I tell you that back in September, I started to weed out the things in my life that weren’t serving me? I was completely overwhelmed, under-motivated and just plain worn out. I stopped going to meetings that seemed like time-wasters. I started saying NO to some things (which is hard for me). It was actually quite liberating… at least for a moment.

Just when I took my first clarifying, deep breath of freedom, I took on a Girl Scout troop.

Yes. The story of my life. While trying simplify things, I throw it all into a magnificent tailspin.

I didn’t take on an existing troop. No, that would have been much easier. No, I drummed up a co-leader and spread the word. I went through all the training. Did all the paper work and background screening. I planned a weekly meeting place, a time, activities, an Investiture Ceremony – all with ZERO start-up cash. (Note to self: seek sponsors next time.) I now proudly boast having 18 amazing young ladies in grades K-2 who look adorable in their little uniforms and run up to me in the school halls, excited for the day’s adventure.

I joke that the Girl Scout recruiter told me it was easy to be a Girl Scout Leader while handing me a 3″ binder stuffed with all the Rules & Regs. Yep. It ain’t easy. It’s a time-consuming, red-tape laden, legally absurd set of hoops to jump through. But it is rewarding. Sound like a cliché? Of course, but it’s true. To see the girls’ eyes light up when they see me, to watch them enjoy an activity together, it really is wonderful. I had a mom tell me that her daughter just loves coming to Girl Scouts. She loves it so much so that she is even willing to live with her grandparents while mom moves an hour away for a job. Hearing that made me realize it was all worthwhile. I honestly believe I’m making a difference. My girl even told me she was happy that I was the Girl Scout Leader! Uh-huh. That’ll tug at the ole heart-strings. {I’ll write more on this some other day… Girl Scouting has come through 100 years and although so much of it has changed, the core values are still very much there and so what our girls need now more than ever. It’s truly another topic for another day…}

Aside from school and Girl Scouts, since October we have been on a road trip to “luxury” camp with my parents at the beach, been to a Civil War battle reenactment where we actually dressed the part and stayed in the camp (boy, the smell of a wood campfire sticks to EVERYTHING), we celebrated three birthdays, Thanksgiving, and our 13th Wedding Anniversary! Add to the mix all the school functions, minor illnesses and a fun trip to a dear friend’s farm & art studio and it’s no wonder I hadn’t spent much time in front of the computer tippy-tapping.

So, tonight I just wanted to say hello. To let you know I was still here. Still kicking. Still trying to do it all. Still not finding enough time in the day to complete The List.

To make matters worse (albeit far more festive):

Christmas is upon us. One week away, actually.

This next week is so jam-packed with holiday parties, cookie exchanges, caroling, gift-wrapping, trip-planning, excitement-building, cocoa-sipping, light-gawking… It’s gonna be crazy!

And fun.

I hope you and your family enjoy every minute of it. I know we will. And if time gets away from us… we’ll just add it to tomorrow’s list!

 
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Posted by on December 16, 2012 in Just Because

 

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Never Thought I’d…

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One week shy of her 8th birthday, my girl had an experience neither of us was prepared for… Her very first invitation to dance by a… boy!

Okay, so first comes the confession. My husband is enthralled by the history of the American Civil War. While doing some genealogy research, he discovered that his great, great uncle was captured at Cedar Creek and taken to a Confederate Prison in North Carolina, where he died just before the war ended. Intrigued, my husband became “eat up with it”, as I call it, devouring tomes of information, spending hours on the Internet and visiting live re-enactments… Something I NEVER in a million years would have thought would interest him. Well, fast forward a year and he’s not only interested, we’re members! Yes. We. Our family is now an active part of the 97th Pennsylvania Volunteer Infantry.

It’s fascinating and turns out it’s fun for the whole family. To watch my husband get excited about something and share that passion with my children, is truly heart-warming. I admit, it may seem odd to relish a war or want to re-enact a gruesome battle, but I think it’s much more than that. It’s history. It’s learning about the clothes, the food, the letter-writing (a lost art), the way people in the 19th century lived without electricity, TV or fast food. To discover how children worked and learned and what was expected of them from a tender age. To learn how our ancestors entertained themselves. We got a first-hand experience at the Blue & Gray Cotillion, an annual event hosted by the 97th, open to all re-enactors in the area.

The music was genuine. The decor perfectly period and to see all the ladies in their 19th Century hoops and gloves… It was like walking on-set at the filming of Gone with the Wind.

Of course, the kids were ready to go home within 20 minutes of our arrival, in fact my girl had just complained for the 103rd time that she was sleepy and ready to go. That’s when this dashing young man of maybe 12, approached and asked my girl to dance.

To see her accept his invitation and walk hand-in-hand onto the dance floor. Neither making eye contact with the other. Swaying gently, not really dancing per se. My husband and I were nearly tearful, as our hearts swelled watching our baby – our teeny, tiny girl – have this experience. When the music ended, the boy gracefully bowed to her and took his leave. She ran over to me, hands flapping excitedly, “Did you see me? Did you see me, Mama?!” Priceless, I tell you. Priceless.

We enjoyed the refreshments and watching the others perform the Virginia Reel, then it was time for the raffle drawing. My girl WON! She actually won the Children’s Basket (chock full of sugary goodies and games and such). She was thrilled and bravely walked all the way across the floor to the stage to have her ticket number verified. I was so proud.

Before we left, while we were saying our good-byes to some friends, another young man asked my girl to dance. She was like a deer in the headlights, but again, she accepted and off they went. This young Rebel, without warning, even tried to twirl my girl! It was a sight to behold. One I will never forget. (Nor will she.)

Where else, besides church, can a family of four have such a wholesome time for $25?

Sometimes we have to step outside the box and try something new. I’ll share more with you as the Civil War’s sesquicentennial continues… Now, I must go and wash my corset and petticoats.

 
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Posted by on October 1, 2012 in Just Because

 

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Oh, Yes I Did!

I saw the special offer on Facebook. And there was a limited time window, of course. I decided then and there that I was worth it! I would buy this necklace from Lisa Leonard Designs {lisaleonardonline.com} for myself as a gift. I don’t do this very often. In fact, hardly at all. So, I justified it. Ordered it from my iPhone in the privacy of my master bedroom while my hubby and the kids were in the TV room. Within minutes the deed was done.

The confirmation email made me smile. Then came the “we’re processing your order” email, which excited me. Days later, I got the “your order has been shipped” notice and I was down right giddy!

As I pulled into the driveway this afternoon I saw the package peeking out from the mailbox. I decided I’d make it truly a gift. I left it in the mail pile for my husband. (Anticipation is so much fun!)

When he got home, exhausted and dragging through the door, he spotted the bubble mailer.

“What’s this?”

“Hand it to me.”

He did, I opened it and cheered, “Oh, thank you! Thank you! I love it!”

“When did I do this?”

“Last week when the kids and I were sick. Thanks, honey, I love you!”

And that was it.

I smell a tradition.

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Posted by on September 13, 2012 in Bad Mama

 

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Advice Substantiated

My seven-year-old argued with me and absolutely refused to put on clean underwear one morning recently. It baffled me. I could not understand why in the world she was unwilling to remove her panties and change into a nice, new clean pair. Especially since she was in the act of changing from her pajamas anyway. No argument would make her budge. Not the “it’s just what we do” stance or the more frightening, “but if you don’t you may get sick and need a SHOT!” tactic. She stood firm.

Many minutes, precious morning routine minutes, passed during this debate.

I forget now what made her cave, but she eventually did. (Thank goodness.)

Yesterday I got the reinforcement I had prayed for, but in the strangest of places.

She was enjoying one of her favorite treats, a bottle of Sweet Leaf honey-mint green tea. The underside of the lid always offers a ‘Grannyism’. Yesterday’s was perfect! My girl turned stone-faced as she read it aloud.

Mom wins!

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Posted by on September 9, 2012 in Kids Do

 

Mother Bird

Today, my little ones need me.

I know
one day
they will not.

I do my best, while they’re in my nest…

And hope
it’s not
forgot.

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Posted by on September 6, 2012 in Worth a Thousand Words

 

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Mind Games

{Another of my Esquire magazine 79-word fiction-contest rejects. Fans of 50 Shades of Grey will get the humor.}

————-

Laura had never been shy. Not much had ever scared her, really, either. But here in this room she was petrified. What was he planning to do with these implements? The giant tube of lubricant frightened her. The metallic smell was sickening. What was on the wall… an abstract of a vagina? She stood there completely naked, as instructed. Waiting. The waiting was horrendous. The door creaked open.

“Miss Schneider? I’m Dr. James. What brings you in today?”

 
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Posted by on September 4, 2012 in Just Because

 

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iPhone Dependency Issues

I love my iPhone.

Hands down, I find it’s the best mobile phone I have ever owned. Ever. It’s intuitive, smart, fun and takes great pictures I can upload IMMEDIATELY onto Facebook. I can even post to this blog directly from the WordPress app on my iPhone. It simplifies my life in many wonderful ways.

One of my favorite features is the Google Calendar interface. One calendar, multiple devices and multiple reminders. It keeps me on track. I have become 100% dependent on these alerts to get us out the door in the morning and get me where I need to be throughout the week.

Most of the time, it works beautifully. The kids even listen for the tell-tale sounds and say to me, “Mom! It’s time to go!”

There’s just one key: the volume on the device must be ON. (Or the device must be ON me, so I can feel it vibrate!) Here’s how I learned this valuable lesson.

Thursday night at a parent meeting I did the Socially Correct thing and muted my phone. The meeting went well. But I forgot to turn the sound back on after the meeting adjourned. “Whoops” is an understatement. Not having my phone ring all morning, would’ve been a clue. But alas, I went through most of the next day completely unaware that people were trying to reach me.

After dropping the kids at their classrooms, I got into a conversation with another mom, chatted with the principal about upcoming school functions and got caught up on a little work in the school library. I picked my boy up after his half-day was done and we surprised my girl by staying on campus to have lunch with her. Upon returning home, both he and I settled down for a little afternoon nap. I set my iPhone out on the counter, so I’d hear it… and I dozed off…

Suddenly I sat bolt upright! Shaking my head to clear my vision, I focused on the kitchen clock. 3:44?! How could this be? 3:44?!  **PANIC** My girl was dismissed at 2:50! **PANIC** I woke the boy, called the school, started the car and drove all at the same time – in one adrenaline-pumped fluid motion. **PANIC** I wasn’t crying, but I felt like it. How could I have missed dismissal? Where was my Google Calendar alert? Where was the choo-choo sounding ring tone I’d selected for these IMPORTANT alerts?! **STOP** That’s when I realized the phone was on mute. The list of missed calls and alerts covered the entire screen!

The self-loathing began right away. I thought, “I am a terrible mom. I have abandoned my first-born child at school on a Friday afternoon. I am an HOUR late!”  And you wanna know the worst part? I wasn’t in a meeting or on a business call or even ill. I was napping. Napping. Taking a nap.

Oh the shame.

Needless to say, I apologized profusely. My girl wouldn’t make eye contact with me initially. I felt like a heel. Yes, she was in good hands. Yes, they were following procedure and were moments away from the THIRD call attempt which would’ve been to her father. Can you imagine the HORROR that call would have generated?

Oh my. I think I need to go lay down.

Where’s my iPhone?

Is it on?

 
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Posted by on September 2, 2012 in Bad Mama

 

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Virtual Book Cover

the cover

 
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Posted by on August 30, 2012 in Worth a Thousand Words

 

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Play the Game

Okay. I admit I must be a failure. I must be playing the game ALL wrong.

My 7YO refuses to take a bath. I insist, telling her, “The other kids at school are gonna call you ‘Stinky’. You don’t want that, do you?” Doesn’t budge. I tell her, “You have to keep your body clean, to be healthy. You don’t want to be sick just because you didn’t bathe, right?” Nothing. I get more firm. “You have to take a bath. Mama bathes. Daddy bathes. Nana bathes. Mimi bathes. It’s what we do. We may not want to… but we have to. Now, get in the tub.” Tears start. (Hers, not mine.)

By this point, I’m angry.

Here’s a beautiful bathtub filled with just-right-temperature water complete with bubbles and toys and she refuses to get in. Refuses to take her clothes off. What do I do?

I call in Daddy.

He tries the same techniques, then HE gets angry, too.

What’s left? Giving her choices. It’s all the Parenting Rage to give them CHOICES, right? So, Daddy says, “You’re taking a bath. You may choose to get in yourself, or I will help you. Your choice.”

She continues to refuse. She continues to cry.

When I finally ask her why she doesn’t want to take a bath, she replies, “I don’t want to get wet.”

I’m flabbergasted.

We threaten with this: No bath. No birthday party. (There’s one on the horizon she really wants to attend.)

Nada. Just more tears.

Suddenly, out of nowhere we hear a small voice: “I wanna get in!”

It’s little brother. He wants to play in the bath. I say, “Okay, honey, jump in!”

Within seconds BOTH kids are naked, in the bath, having a blast.

I am exhausted and it’s morning. I just woke up.

I call my daughter My Dream Come True. Today, well, I guess I’ve still so much to be thankful for: She’s bright, creative, funny and has a big heart (especially for animals). This will of hers might come in handy some day. I hope she’s this stubborn when some idiot offers her drugs or asks her to marry him at age 16.

Sheesh!

 
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Posted by on August 30, 2012 in Kids Do

 

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Ode to Field Peas

{ESQUIRE Magazine has an annual short, short fiction contest. This year, in honor of the magazine’s 79th Anniversary, entries were limited to 79 words. Yes. Only 79 words to tell a story. Here is the first runner-up of the ones I wrote and rejected. It’s about my maternal grandmother. I miss her… And her field peas and rolls and hugs and stories and love… }

———

Bumping down the gravel road, a two-story dust plume at the rear, we soon pulled into Grandmother’s shady driveway. I could almost taste the field peas she knew were my favorite, simmering on the stove. There’d be hugs, kisses and “y’all look so goods”. Then we’d eat. And eat. I had no idea they’d ever struggled or were poor or that three of her boys had died as babies. All I knew was love. Here we were loved.

 
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Posted by on August 29, 2012 in Just Because

 

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